Thursday, August 07, 2008

Theo

A year ago this week, Dame and I went to Guatemala to pick up Theo.  What an amazing experience that changed my brother's life forever.  Theo is a remarkable little boy who was destined to be loved by his parents, thousands of miles from his place of birth!  What a true love story.  Visiting Guatemala and seeing the other families hungry to adopt, some successful and some rejected after such a long grueling process was a real eye opener for me.  Adoptions, the act of embracing another person and adding them to your family is such a loving act and yet the process is corrupt.   
The Adopters, the parents, are pulled through the ringer by the system. 
In short, the parents are desperate and want a child, the system sees profit in this and squeezes every cent they can from the parents.  The system is not protecting the child, they are profiting the lawyers, keeping economics alive for the system, the social works, the governments, the lawyers, the foster mothers, the birth mothers, the hotels.  All these parties are employed by the system and while the lawyers make the most profit, it is the entire system that is corrupt.
The whole notion that parents are willing to, wanting to adopt-- to spend their lives parenting this child is the only pure motive in the entire process.

I have not shared my feelings with Damian and Laurie until now.  I am in awe of them for tolerating and riding the process through.  I have nothing by empathy for families wanting to adopt.  I have nothing but anger for the adoption process.  
How dare they use an innocent infant as currency?  How dare they knowingly place infants in multiple homes while infants grow into babies, into toddlers and preschoolers all while soaking parents for funds.  How dare anyone set a price on an infant!  Is this not selling a human?
Arguments are made that the process is so slow and so expensive to protect the infant.  This is pure garbage.  Parents can be thoroughly investigated and approved long before infants are assigned to them.  There is no reason why thousands or infants should be delayed from being placed in a secure loving home moments after their births.

There is no reason why birth mothers should be allowed to profit from selling their children.  If a woman decides to put up her unborn for adoption, she should be investigated and thoroughly educated on her decision.  Women who give up multiple newborns for adoption are clearly selling a product.   This is the process that should be legislated.  Yes, how do you decide how many children a woman can give up?  Simple-- ONE.
As a parent who has given birth, who carried a life inside me for 9 months, it is not done lightly. 
The birth process (for the mother) is its own deterrent.  But, if a woman can not afford to care for her baby and makes the carefully thought out choice of giving him/her up for adoption for the infants benefit, I applaud the woman.  She has made a selfless choice.  
If, however, that choice was made because she profited financially from it, it is no longer a selfless act.  One child put up for adoption is heartbreaking and an act of compassion.  Any more is criminal.  The woman that places her child up for adoption needs to be counseled on birth control, long term or short term.  Technologies are in place that injections, implants etc can prevent pregnancies and these women need to address these issues.

That being said, our family has been blessed with Theo.  Dame and Laurie have been blessed with a son and a daughter.  We adore them.  We adore Theo.

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